Parenting with extra challenges
The Skillful Parenting training program developed by ICS helps fathers, mothers and other caregivers in rural areas of Kenya and Tanzania in raising children. This includes also parents with a physical disability. Charles is one of the fathers that joins the program in West-Kenya. Due to an accident his right leg is paralysed. Together with his wife Margareth he has two children. One of the ICS facilitators spoke to the couple about the effects of the training on their relation and the children.
Soon after the accident, Margareth felt scared. Due to his paralysis Charles was no longer able to take care of the farm and the family. The possibility of leaving him did crossed her mind sometimes. However, she decided that walking away wouldn’t be the solution.
Margareth: “The daily stressors in life compounded with his conditions made him very irritable and overly sensitive. He would shout at the children and demanded so much attention from me. My husband would sit alone for long, immersed in self-pity and negative feelings since none of his life experiences prepared him to cope with his situation.”
Charles: “At one point I came into contact with the skillful parenting program of ICS. The modules on roles and responsibilities and family relation supported me enormously. Disability is not inability. If you are disabled, you can’t just sit aside and rely on hand-outs. You need to keep on trying as much as you can to outshine. This will positively influence other peoples perception about you. Moreover, the training improved the relationship with my wife and children.”
Margareth: ”I was worried about how I would be able to take care of the children. Indeed, the first year was very challenging. Gradually I came to terms with Charles’ condition. I have attended church seminars but I also learnt a lot from my husband who willingly shared the lessons from skillful parenting training sessions. Most captivating areas he shared were, nurturing our marriage, effective communication and discipline. These lessons changed my attitude towards him. Things are now very different. I feel my life has gone back to where it was before the accident. He no longer shouts to the children, he has become more positive, ambitious and we both look forward to a much more brighter future.”
